Well, I have a lot more confusion than wisdom to share today.
I’m off to college in exactly one month. And I’m feeling overwhelmed by the options. Not just class options. More like, you know, life options.
In an attempt to sort it out, I’d like to share some of my dreams/goals/aspirations/ideas/wants/ideals.
-travel around the country in an Airstream
-work for a magazine
-live in Colorado; ride horses; write books
-write books as a stay-at-home mom with a wonderful husband
-write books as a single girl living in Europe having the time of her life
-start a really hip website for Christian teens
-live in Italy or France; ride a Vespa
-become a famous journalist; eventually work at NPR
-pursue my interests in Linguistics and Anthropology
-study abroad for an entire semester in London or Ireland
-become a lawyer
-marry a lawyer
-overcome my phobia of hospitals
-care for foster children
And more. Do you see how just about everything on that list conflicts with everything else? I can’t do it all. I want to do it all.
What do I do? My rational side says, “Hey, trust God. Pray. It’ll work out better than you could ever plan.” And I know that’s right. I know. I’m trying. But it’s hard. The rational side has it going on. But the side that’s not so…calm and cool? That side’s saying WhatdoIdoWhatdoIdoWhatdoIdo?! And panicking. Resulting in a general feeling of mild anxiety and sickness and worry that isn’t so fun. Worse, I know that’s not the attitude for a Christian to have about life! I should be concentrating on what I have, not freaking out about what I might not get if I do something wrong along the path to Jessica’s Perfect Happiness.
If what I’m feeling sounds at all relatable to you, this should help: 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:25-27. (worrying=useless. God loves you. A lot. You need to spend your time on what’s truly important; God will help you with the basics)
And this should help too: “Jump Into the Fog,” an addictive new song by The Wombats (with a title that’s quickly becoming my new motto). If you feel stuck and scared about the future, I encourage you to do the brave thing with me: stop worrying. Take it day by day. Don’t let the fear of failure paralyze you from making your dreams come true. Jump into the fog.