Next to “pool rat” in the dictionary, you’ll see my picture.
Well, not really. I doubt that phrase is even in the dictionary. If it is, okay, but there are other things I’d rather be known for. Anyway, since I lifeguard, I do spend a ridiculous amount of time at the city pool, so I have it on the brain. Spending my days in a lifeguard chair does get old, definitely, but there are a couple of things that make it more bearable.
1. The little kids. They just make me smile. There’s this little girl, about seven years old, who shows up a lot. Whenever I’m up “directing traffic” on this long, red, twisty slide we have, she’ll climb all the steps to the top, adjust her goggles, and tell me a joke. She’s about 7. The first comedic tidbit was “Um, what do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?” “Uh, I don’t know- what?” I asked, surprised. I hadn’t heard her talk before. “Swimming trunks!” Then, before I had time to reply, she was off down the slide. Now I get a joke every time. Cute.
2. Boardshorts. I don’t know how you could lifeguard and not wear a pair of the best invention ever. I have seven or eight, mostly made by Billabong or Roxy. They dry completely in less than 10 minutes of wear, so I never hesitate to jump in and splash around on my breaks. Plus I feel like a surfer girl.
3. Nectarines. I’d like to nominate these delicious furless peaches for the Best Fruit Ever Award.
4. Tunes. The radio is always on at the pool. Music makes the time go by faster. “Sexy and I Know It” always seems to come on when I’m walking to the next chair.
5. Improvisation. I’ve created a “workout” that follows the six-part rotation schedule. Deep slides: leg workout, complete with lunges and steppers on the top stair. Deep chair: deep breathing- yoga style- and neck rolls. Et cetera. I should market and sell this idea to lifeguards. Seriously.