The Valentine’s Day Pep-Talk You Probably Need

vday sean 2

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.

What does that mean to you?

I know that:

a significant percent of the female population will spend tomorrow eating too much chocolate and ice cream with the excuse that they don’t have a boyfriend, and bemoaning that sad fact over romantic comedies. it’s cliche, but we all know it’s true (cuz we’ve all been there).

another large portion of single girls will throw on their heels and bodycon dresses, run out with their friends, and shake it to the hot “girl power” anthems de jour, sharing dating horror stories and agreeing upon how relieved they all are that they don’t have to worry about a guy. Uh-huh.

a good number of the girls who will be taken out tomorrow will likely find themselves mad/disappointed when their dates fail to meet their sky-high rom-com expectations.

Phew. So much drama on poor little February 14th.

How ’bout we all just Chill. Out.

I know I’m adding to the noise about V-Day, but I had to say something. I’ve observed so much whining, worrying, stressing, and complaining about Valentine’s Day this year, and I really don’t understand why. It’s really pretty simple.

So listen up to the brief Valentine’s Day Pep-Talk You Probably Need.

Single girls: you have two options.

1) Valentine’s Day is a square on the calendar. observe it like any other day. do something fun if you want to, stay home and read a book if you want to. either way is fine. neither way is lame. Take it as an excuse to wear a heart sweater or rock a pink stripy manicure or make cupcakes. No big.

2) The day, like any day, is what you make it, right? Why not just take the opportunity to celebrate love? It doesn’t have to be romantic, obviously. Check out 1 Corinthians 13 for a reminder of what true love is. Go out of your way to show love to someone else, be it your family, your bestie, your elderly neighbor, or a random stranger. Get together with your girlfriends if you want, but do something fun! Reject the stereotype and the tears over a pint of Chunky Monkey, and…go to a concert! A play! Just enjoy each other’s company!

For the ladies awaiting flowers and chocolate: keep some things in mind.

1) Life is not a movie and the best/most romantic days you ever have will probably not be predicted by a calendar. Don’t expect them to be.

2) Being realistic will save you a lot of disappointment. If your guy is not really a romantic, don’t expect your Valentine’s Day date to somehow turn into a scene Nicholas Sparks would write. That’s not to say that it couldn’t, but the point here is this: would you rather be surprised something wonderful happened or disappointed it didn’t? It’s a point-of-view thing.

3) Successful relationship in a nutshell: woman feels loved, man feels respected. Are you aware of that? It’s kind of a non-secret secret that will change your life if you let it. Read more about it, if you wish, at my favorite blog ever. Basically, treat him like your hero and chances are high he’ll treat you like his princess. It’s that simple. Now, if you can’t/don’t respect him, you shouldn’t be dating him at all. Trust me on this one.

4) Be gracious. He makes an effort, you say thank you. It doesn’t matter if you already have a necklace that looks sort of like that, or those aren’t your favorite flowers, or the restaurant ran out of what you wanted to order. Have some class, be a lady, and say thank you. And mean it!

5) Love is about what you give, not about what you get. Selfishness leads to all kinds of issues, and only has the potential to hurt a relationship. Our culture has turned Valentine’s Day into this huge crazy deal that mainly involves the man being expected to plan and execute some beautifully-flawless date. Which of course should surprise the woman while simultaneously meeting all of her expectations, right? Um, that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. And also impossible. Instead of hoping and praying he does everything right, why not do something thoughtful for him, instead? It’s not too late to find a creative way to tell him what’s so great about him.

I hope this provided some valuable food for thought!

Remember, “we love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 

That’s what really matters.

Click to read a college guy’s humorous take on the whole Valentine’s deal.

Happy Valentine’s, lovelies!

xoxo, j


13 thoughts on “The Valentine’s Day Pep-Talk You Probably Need

  1. I saw this morning that you somehow found my blog, and I was so delighted to find someone who writes in such a fantastic style in return! I cannot wait to catch up on all posts you have previously written, and will eagerly await what is to come. I like your honest style, and how you are not afraid to express what you value. I’ll tell my friends to check you out as well.

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